what you need today

I wrote a blog about buying a blender because my Ninja wasn't working and how I've been watching a ton of YouTube videos on being vegan and how the vegans like to talk a lot and then I erased the blog because it was long and boring and condensed it into this paragraph.  

The lady where I bought my blender (Macy's Home Store, it was Macy's), obviously worked on commission. She tailed me my entire visit.  She had this raspy, loud voice and she wouldn't leave me alone.  I'm surprised she didn't tell me the blender made me look good, like it brought out my eyes.  She was relentless.  

Yea vegan...I went vegetarian for about 2 months and now I'm probably 90% vegan for almost a month. I have no clue what I'm doing.  I blame the YouTuber's who talk too much.  I can't get through a video.  It's not me and my low attention span, it's them.

Speaking of not knowing what I'm doing, I film Poker Night in America in a week.  It seems like most people on the show are buying in 100 big blinds.  I'm not sure what to buy in, probably will do the same for my first buy in and take it from there.  No, no... I'll probably only have to buy in once.  Positive thinking people.

Yea.

No.

Yea.

Dude this post is one of my worst, I'm really reaching.  I'm going to go get my best friend in a bit aka a cup of coffee, then I'm going to go to Ace Hardware and buy a bucket and a brush so I can wash my patio cushions, then I'm going to get a pedicure.  After that I'm going to get a salad for lunch.  Then who knows man, who knows.  Endless possibilities.

If I was a first time visitor to this site I'd leave and never come back. 

Oh I'm a bartender.  Apparently I wrote somewhere in this blog that I got a job as a bartender and now this vicious rumor has spread throughout the community.  The community of one person who told me.  I'm not a bartender, I wouldn't make it a day.  I don't know what I am, and I'm also barely making it through a day.

This video is geared towards my large female fan base. It's spot on.