I had very specific targets tonight and they did not pan out. I also had a migraine that a cocktail of caffeine and drugs could not kill, so I withdrew the troops and took cover. Once safely sheltered I began searching for adoptable dogs online. I’m not a dog or cat or any other kind of pet person. I don’t know why I look at dog profiles as much as I do. I have a friend that spends hours watching videos of sand on YouTube. Same thing?
No. Her thing is just weird.
I kid you not, I just typed “sand” into YouTube search and found a video with over 5 million views. I’ll post it below because obviously.
Maybe there are millions of people who also sweat adoptable dogs online that have no intention of adopti…
Wait! I’m watching and listening to this sand video and I don’t know what the hell is going on. I’m so confused. I can’t think. I’ll pause it but if you want the same experience start the video below then try to recite the alphabet, it’s impossible.
Okay, back to the dogs. I found a profile of two senior dogs whose owner has passed away. The ad says they are bonded for life. One of them is totally blind and only has one eye. I want them. I want these dogs.
Maybe I took too much Tylenol but I’m really feeling this pair. I shall reassess my feelings in the morning and proceed from there. How I wish I had taken this advice ten dozen other times in my younger years. But then I wouldn’t be me now would I?
And I’m fantastic. It’s 2019 and I’m only going to become more fantastic! Because I don’t have to be a great basketball player. I don’t have to dribble the ball fast or throw the ball into the basket. Because all I have to do is be the best rx I can be.
Because I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it people like me.
You guys I just channeled Eminem with these sick throwbacks and wordplay. Source here if I lost you and weird “very satisfying” sand fetish or whatever it is video below.